A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client sideon a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye".
With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-

Dear Sir,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down.
I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you.
I am sorry but I had no choice.
The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no
need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon,have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace
me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".
I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.
Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me.
Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.
I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).
Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.
Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.
Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer

How To Know The Gender Of A Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' !
She asked.
'Hunting Flies'
He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?' !
He responded,
3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone…. :)